baru-baru ini, ada dua tiga perkara yang berlaku mengundang sedikit resah dan gelisah dalam hidup saya. sedikit keliru dan seolah-olah perlu untuk "satu tangan" lain datang membantu.
perkara satu: pilihan kerjaya-sama ada ingin teruskan dengan aa yang telah ada sekarang, atau kejar impian dan apa yang kita inginkan dahulu.
perkara dua: persoalan tentang agama.
kedua2-dua perkara ini agak serius. malah kiranya dibincangkan diblog ini tanpa penjelasan panjang lebar, pasti mengundang sesuatu yang negatif satu masa nanti. cuma, dalam kekeliruan ini, terasa ingin mencurahkan sedikit perasaan. sekurang-kurangnya, sedikit ketengangan dan kekeliruan ini telah diluahkan.
tentang dua perkara ini, sebenarnya, saya pernah cuba bercakap (dengan orang lain). cuma, itulah.. kadang-kadang kedegilan dalam diri ini, buat orang lain malas nak bagi pendapat. mungkin mereka rasa, "alah, macam dia nak dengar apa yang orang lain cakap." atau orang lain fikir, "last-last nanti, dia ikut rasa hati dia jer".
tentang rasa hati, saya tahu saya sentiasa kuat pada gerak hati (intuisi) dan apa yang saya fikir betul (yang sebenarnya, dalam ketika tertentu, ada jugak yang tak betul). saya rasa, inilah kekuatan diri saya. yang menjadikan saya, tegas dan dapat membuat keputusan dengan baik dalam hidup saya. tekanan banyak berlaku.dan cara untuk saya menghadapi tekanan ini adalah dengan ketegasan dalaman, berpegang pada prinsip diri. dan baru-baru ini, ada orang saya hormati, memberitahu saya, terlalu keras dengan prinsip itu tidak baik, tidak bagus.
Entahlah.
Apakah apa yang saya percaya, tentang diri saya, tentang pegangan saya, selama 25 tahun ini salah?
saya sendiri tidak ada jawapannya malam ini.
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